speechless... sort of

I have been considering writing something about Heather Ledger, but I haven't really known what to say that would be worth writing about. It's cheezy, but have been in a sort of shock since I found out he died. I don't know why. This story is practically a Hollywood cliche. I think its because when I saw him in the Patriot I was at a age of being easily swept away by the fanatasy of him. He was sexy. Oh, so very sexy in that movie. We were the same age and I longed for a man as dreamy as him ( I was single at the time ).

My friend Jen and I would tease each other about who he would pick between us and state our cases as to why it really would be me (or her). We were not at all serious about that, but it was fun to dream I guess.

It is also so hard for me to accept death and make sense of what happens. A two year old daughter left behind, now without her father. The idea that somebody can be so full of life, spirit and energy and just an hour, 12 hours, a day, etc., later is comepletely lifeless. Dead. Gone. Zero potential. It truly blows my mind and creaps me out if I think to hard about it. My feelings are no different towards strangers, such as Heath.

So knowing and truly believing in individuals and their gooodness, Heath being one of them, at least to his friends, family, and co-workers, it disturbed me to read this this morning. What lengths these hateful people will go to to spread their animosity, anger, judgement and disapproval of genuinely kind, love deserving people, and to wish ill on them. And to do it in the worst of places.